Dramatic Monotony

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

I think I've been ditched.

I'm so mad. Pissed off. And really really upset. I hate it when people act like flakes. I'm not a flake, and I don't expect other people to behave in such a way. I think I deserve at least a phone call. An IM. Something. I planned my whole week around tonight, and now no one's answering my phone calls, no one's online, and no one hasn't THOUGHT about me.

And the worst thing is, I was looking forward to tonight so much. I shaved my legs, got dressed up, and here am I, ruining my makeup because I'm crying too much. I'm just so disappointed. All I wanted to do was spend some time with two people that I love, and now... I can't even do that. Not only is tonight a blow to my pride, it's sad as well.

I suppose if I can't go see "I Capture the Castle," I can at least read the book. Maybe that will make me feel better.




Where is he? No one knows... and he's not picking up the cell phone. Oh, dear.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

God, I just started laughing so much when I got this quiz result.


What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeah, you laughing yet? Well, you should be. I look hot in glasses, bitch.

blah, blah, blah

I'm in LA now! Yay! And I'm invading Sam's apartment. Which I'm really excited about. Hostile takeovers are *so* my thing.

Um, that's really about it. We're gonna go see Pirates of the Caribbean. I like cute boys. Especially cute, grungy pirate boys.

Friday, July 25, 2003

I think my dad's going to buy a Touareg.

For those who haven't seen the everpresent commercials on television, it's the brand-new SUV offering from VW. We've had good luck with Volkswagens. Our love affair with this brand of car started when I was sixteen. Like every sixteen year old in my social circle, I thought it was my god-given right to drive a BMW Z3. Hell, my dad even owned one. In my naive privileged "bubble" world, I honestly believed it was perfectly logical for him to give me his BMW as soon as I received my drivers license. All of my friends had nice cars. It made sense. I was just as cool as my friends, so this non-logic led me to expect the Z3 keys in my hand at any time.

Guess what? It didn't happen.

One of the most traumatic moments in my young adult life happened one sunny Saturday afternoon. My dad and I piled into his cute little roadster, and headed out of the house. He was driving towards Momentum BMW, the place where he bought his car. I began to feel hopeful. My inner dialogue went as follows, "Maybe he's going to get me a little 3-series coupe? That'd be nice. I'd take that. Are we really going to the car dealership? Wait... it's right there! Omigosh, WE'RE PULLING IN! WE'RE PARKING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" My dad and I wander around the lot for a little bit, look at all the cars, and he says, "I really think that three series coupe is nice looking." And then, to my chagrin, we walk back to his vehicle, and pull out of the parking lot.

He gets onto a freeway, and I think nothing of it. "Maybe we're going to lunch or something. Lunch... I'm kinda hungry, that's a good idea." Suddenly, my dad exits and pulls into a Ford dealership. I start panicking. What in the world does he want here? A sleazy salesman approaches us, and my dad has the following unbelievable conversation.

Sleazy Salesman: Hi there, what can I help you with?
Dad: Well, I wanted to look at the Focus. Do you have any in stock?
Jennifer: WHAT?! A FOCUS?! I refuse. I do not want to look at it.
Dad: ....
Sleazy Salesman: They're right over here. Follow me. What model are you looking for?

I sulked and grimaced and pouted and acted like a horrible spoiled brat. I was so mad, I didn't talk to my dad for the next thirty minutes.

A couple of weekends later, I realized that I wasn't going to get a BMW. I needed to come to my senses. I needed a plan to save myself from the Focus. I hated that car with the depths of my soul, with the marrow of my bones. So I did a bit of research online and came up with a line of "back-up" cars. The Honda Civic. The Honda CRV. The Mitsubishi Eclipse. The Mitsubishi Diamante. The Ford Mustang. And this strange little car called a Golf, made by Volkswagen. We went to a few dealerships, and then we headed to the Volkswagen dealer. And I fell in love. It wasn't with a Golf, actually. I fell in love with a dark blue Cabrio. Unfortunately, my dad said, "NO WAY IN HELL" to the convertible, so I compromised and suggest the Golf. We didn't get the trim level I wanted. (My father was convinced that if I had a sunroof, I'd leave it open and my new car would turn into a new bathtub.) We also couldn't get the color I wanted. (In order to get the dark blue, we'd have to be added to a waiting list, which would eventually take about two months.) But at least I didn't get stuck with that ugly candy white one...

In the end, I'm glad that things turned out how they did. I have a nice car, with good gas mileage and an amazingly large amount of storage space. My car's not particularly sporty or fast or stylish... but she's cute. She fits my personality. She's reliable. Penelope (my car) is a good match.

And as I've progressed beyond the Second Baptist environment, I've realized how LUCKY I am to have a car. My parents have always tried to do their best for me. And we've liked the VW so much, my mom bought herself a Golf. And now my dad's going to purchase a Touareg. We will be the epitome of a VW family.

Thursday, July 24, 2003

Actually, I'm over it now.

Nevermind. Whatever. I think that rant was the perfect method of catharsis. I'm not angry anymore.

Warning: Angry rant that I will regret in about three hours.

You know what? Why do I bother?

I try to be friendly and nice and your friend. And you don't like me. Or care a lot about me.

Our plans are CANCELED. Fuck that shit. I don't need to be the one who always IMs. I don't need to be the one who makes all the effort. I don't want to be the one who writes you a letter to cheer you up. I don't care about always calling you and making plans... and you never reciprocate. I'm sick and tired of trying. When you make your little exclusive lists, I'm pissed that I'm never mentioned. When you write your odes, I'm never the subject. When I say nice things, you never repeat them. And yes, this is petty and foolish and silly. I'm seething with jealousy, and quite frankly, a little sick that I'm obviously not a friend despite my best efforts.

I'm like the non-entity. The one who's around, but never special. And dammit, I'm special. And I'm sick of being the pushover. So, that's it. No more.

And in a day, I will think, "Gee, I was being dramatic and over-reacting," and will return to my former role of attempting to get your attention. Just because I know that's how I am. And this isn't the first time I've felt like this.

Whirlwind tour of Houston.

Friday, July 18th:
Rice Stadium for the ExSIGHTment of Sound. I *heart* drum and bugle corps competitions. And I also *heart* the Cadets. They should've won.

Monday, July 21st:
Lunch with Ian @ vegetarian Chinese restaurant. He's off on an European adventure. I tried to suppress my jealousy.

Tuesday, July 22nd:
10:45 appointment at salon for Brazilian with Faith. She's very supportive throughout the whole ordeal. I deal with immense pain. Then we have lunch at Jason's Deli with her mother.
Dinner with Ginny Kemper @ Olive Garden. She's my long-lost "Twinkie" from drill team. I will forgive her for attending the University of Arizona because she's THAT cool.

Wednesday, July 23rd:
Lunch with Liz Bair @ Hobbit Hole Cafe. Liz is one of the funniest people I've ever met. She talked about her Pi Phi experience at SMU, her troubles with boys, and lots of savory bits of gossip. I laughed a lot during our late lunch.
Dinner with Mary Louise @ Cafe Express. I love Mary Louise. She's amazing. I can't even begin to talk about how much I love this girl. She's one of my best friends, she's my role model, and she's possibly one of the most wonderful people in this entire world.

I'm leaving on Saturday to go back to Los Angeles, but I have to admit, this was a great summer. I love my people in Houston. And I'm sorry I missed some of you... Nora, Lauren, Kristin, Carolyn, Davia... You are in my thoughts.

Saturday, July 19, 2003

I have Radiohead/Supergrass tickets!


I'm going to the September 25th show at the Hollywood Bowl with Nels and his friend Rand. It will be a good time. And needless to say, I've been listening to Radiohead and Supergrass non-stop in celebration of my conquest of Ticketmaster.

Friday, July 18, 2003

We haven't had any mail in two days.

And this sucks because I'm expecting three CDs in the mail.

Damn U.S. Postal Service. I have a feeling the lack of mail is a direct result from the stupid dog across the street. Damn crazy mutt.

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Dinner with Katie!

When I look back at high school, I remember certain things. I was involved in about six million different activities: drill team, Anchor Club, the school musical, AP classes, model UN, French Club. I liked to over-extend myself in order to meet people, round out my resume, and ... well, it's just how I work. I had my really close friends, and then there were friends who also participated in all of these activities. And Katie was one of those people. Even though we were never "best friends" during high school, I really respected and liked her a lot. And now, after high school, she's a person that I will make an effort to see. Katie will live an amazing life; she always knows what's going on with our former classmates, she's very intelligent, and she has a good time in every environment.

We had a blast during dinner. I went to her house, and we finally decided to head to Pappasito's. We managed to scarf down piles of food... the shrimp enchiladas are to die for, if you're ever close to a Pappasito's. And let's not even get into the desserts. I had the chocolate bread pudding, while Katie had this amazing confection with vanilla ice cream, coconut, nuts, and white chocolate. We gabbed about the gossip of our high school class, talked about college activities, and just had a great time overall.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Update #2

Hurricane Claudette was a bust. At least in my area. It rained a bit, the wind blew around... and that's all. I was kinda looking forward to some 75 mph winds.

Update: Actually, I don't care if the dog dies. I was walking my sick elderly little Shih Tzu down the street, and that monster tried to eat her. He ran towards us, growling and snarling, swooped down on her, and circled us. Luckily, I managed to pull Trixie to the side and picked her up before he got to her. My poor Trixie was just quivering like a leaf. That crazy dog-esque thing ought to be put down, especially after that attack. Argh.

Woohooo! Ride 'em, cowboy.

We've got a regular ole hurricane coming off the Gulf of Mexico. It's not a big one - just a category one. So, hopefully, it'll just be a lot of winds, rain, minimal flooding and damage. Claudette is a French name anyway - I bet a lot of these uber-patriotic Texans wouldn't like to have their houses damaged by something that even suggests France. Needless to say, anti-French sentiment is rather popular around here. So, hopefully, by tomorrow morning it will be "Au revoir, Claudette!"

Now, when will the stupid Aggies that live across the street decide to put their dog inside? I'm sure 75 mph winds are not healthy for the mutt, especially when it's running around the streets, barking at cars.

Monday, July 14, 2003

Critic's corner with Jen Noble

Whale Rider, rated PG-13 - In the mood for a childrens movie that touches the heart, mind, and soul? Have you already seen Finding Nemo about six million times, and your kids are begging for a different sea story? Do you have a vague interest in the Maori culture and New Zealand? Or do you just want to see a good independent film? Well, if you said yes to any of the above questions... you should DEFINITELY see Whale Rider.

(Is it just me, or did the paragraph above sound like the introduction from a book review on Reading Rainbow?)

This is good film-making. While the story doesn't have any chase sequences or bomb explosion, it does contain a lot of genuine characterization. You like these people, and when they make mistakes, you honestly feel pain. No one's a sketch, and I appreciate that in a film. If you're a Lisa Gerrard fan (hi Kim!), you'll probably dig the music as well. Plus, you'll learn something about the Maori tribe in New Zealand, something that my fellow movie-goers, Anna and Bernie, appreciated. (I think.)

Does that look like appreciation? I hope so.

Whale Rider is even better with a scoop of straciatella and chocolate mousse afterwards. But if you don't have a gelato stand nearby, I feel for ya.

Friday, July 11, 2003

I've survived!

Little kids are no longer scary. I have learned the secret of the tickle! They are in my power! Muahahahahahha.

I might say more later. But this is the only thought currently occupying my mind.

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

For the bookworms who read my blogger:

Read Atonement by Ian McEwan. It's one of the most amazing books I've ever touched. It starts off a bit slow, but the writing style gradually draws you into the world of Briony, Cecilia, and Robbie. I have to admit, I cried at the end. Finishing this book was an emotional experience. I'm not going to ruin any of this by hinting at the story. In fact, stay away from all book reviews. Just appreciate the novel for what it is... a masterpiece. It will haunt you long after you read the last page.

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Day II of Vacation Bible School:

Eric refuses to sing with the group. I give him an inspiring speech about how he's a leader in our group and how much I enjoy his funny antics when he sings. He half-heartedly joins in until I start tickling him.

Will doesn't want to say anything. He tends to stand at the side of the group and sulk. I ask him a question, and he says, "I don't know." I'm not quizzing him on difficult theories; these are things like, "Do you obey anyone?" Finally, at the end of the day, I start tickling him. He actually laughs.

Olivia knows everything about VBS. I think the fact that she's been to Ascension's VBS for the past five years might have something to do with that. She tends to get a bit uppity about her prior knowledge at times. But I have to admit, she's great to have around, especially since I know I can trust her with perilous things like paint.

Alisan is very quiet and very obedient. But sometimes a little devil sneaks into her body and she refuses to follow instructions. For example, we were sitting in a large "whale" during story time. We were supposed to be in a circle. She runs and hides behind me and then darts to the other end of the "whale." By this time, I have a headache.

Courtney's a doll. I want to have a child like this. She's cute, she's sweet, she's encouraging, and she does what she's told. I appreciate this. I'm just afraid I don't show it well. Maybe I should start tickling her?

~~~End of VBS ranting~~~

Lunch with Lea was cool. It was nice to talk to an adult, after talking to kids all morning. Food was good and relatively cheap. Fast service. Fun stuff.

~~~Warning: Rambling about future supermodels ahead~~~

Oh, and the most disappointing (yet happy!) news of the day: Elyse was booted off "America's Next Top Model" and will pursue a career as a doctor. However, my second favorite, Adrianne, is a winner! I'm just glad that the "All American" Shannon didn't win the contract, even though I liked her a lot better after Robin was kicked off the show. Robin was just an uptight bitch who brought EVERYONE down. Not cool at all. Anyway, Adrianne is beautiful, she's interesting, she's been through shit, she dropped out of high school, and she was in a dead-end job as a waitress. This modeling contract COMPLETELY changes her life, and I like stories like that. Good for her!

Monday, July 07, 2003

I feel slightly guilty about the last post. Just to clarify, I really love my mother, but she irritates me. A lot.

But at least I know I must've irritated her in the past. I've decided I don't want to have children right now. Actually, I'm not too sure about having children at all. Why share this proclamation with the world? Today was my first day as a "Crew Leader" at Ascension's Vacation Bible School (aka SCUBA, Super Cool Undersea Bible Adventure). I have five kids in my "SCUBA" crew - three girls and two boys, ranging from 6 -11 years old. And they're a handful. I'm really exhausted, and I only looked after them for three and a half hours! Hopefully they're better when they're your own children.

One cool thing about VBS is that I get to work with all of the teenagers I used to boss around when I was a Worship Team Leader. I haven't seen these people in two years... and guess what?! People grow up! It's shocking. I remember them as thirteen and fourteen year olds... and now they're driving around? It's a bit surreal, but I think it's good that they all remember me. Even the parents!

I'm having lunch with Lea tomorrow, and I'm pumped about that. I think it'll be nice to see her, especially since she's heading to Washington in the fall and Paris in the spring. This might be one of the last opportunities I have to hang out with her. Even though not all of our interactions have been perfect, I respect Lea a lot - her intelligence is extremely obvious whenever I have a conversation with her. I think it's good that we're still trying to keep pathways of communication open, because I believe I can learn a lot from her. We're meeting at the Ninfa's in Bellaire, my old hang-out with Davia. I have fond memories of that place.

Sunday, July 06, 2003


My mother just needs to shut up.

I'm counting down the days until I can get out of here. She's driving me up the wall. Right now, she's bawling and screaming because I said, "Fuck," when I found out we didn't have any markers. THAT'S ALL I SAID. Does this merit hysterics? It's been going on for THIRTY MINUTES.

She's crazy.

Saturday, July 05, 2003

I'm going back to Los Angeles on the 28th of July!

I'll miss the band trip to Tahoe... however, I'll have a whole luscious week of freedom before RA training begins! Sam and I are making plans to paint the town red. Well, actually, I like red - I think she's more of a pink girl.

Today was spent... umm... well, we got rid of a 32" tv, a toilet, a sofa bed, a box of china, and an office chair. The Salvation Army must've just gone crazy with our generous donations. But one of the moving men kept on asking, "What's wrong with the tv? Why in the world are you giving away a 32" television?" He couldn't believe that... well, we just didn't want it anymore. Due to my change in the rooming situation at 'SC, I no longer need another television, and my parents found themselves with one too many.

I went to exchange my copy of the Pianist at Best Buy today. We started watching it last night, and an hour and a half into the movie, it went kaput. The DVD would not play anymore. Then, when we took it out, we noticed this smearing, foggy substance all over the disc that wouldn't come off. I was a bit nervous about the exchange policy. It was well over 30 days since my purchase, and as I stood in the amazingly long line, I watched the customer service rep turn away about half of the people who came to exchange items. I figured my chances weren't very good... but surprisingly, I was able to return it without problems. So, right now, Best Buy is in my good graces.

I need to go on a shopping spree. I found over $120 worth of gift certificates I haven't used. Wooohoo! It's like finding free money, but more exciting because you CAN'T use it to pay bills... instead they must be used towards my favorite hobby. I guess I just have to go to the Galleria on Monday, huh? Darn.

Monday is also the day I start at Vacation Bible School! Well, I'm not going to be a student... instead, I'll be a teacher. Sort of. I think I'm some type of assistant. Kari, the woman in charge, hasn't done a very good job of returning my phone calls. So, I guess I'm just arriving at 8:30 and she'll inform me of my duties at that time. Me and kids... hahahaha, that's a funny thought. But they need help, so why not?

Friday, July 04, 2003

It was the fourth of July.

And now it's the cusp of the fifth.

Is it bad that I feel much the same? EVEN AFTER viewing Gangs of New York?

I don't know. I'm glad I was born in the United States, but I'd be lying if I said I wanted to live here for the rest of my life. Maybe an administration change would influence my feelings towards America. But, to be honest, it probably wouldn't do much. Politicians are politicians.

Apathy's a killer. But I'll choose it over ardent patriotism or leftist propaganda or anti-American sentiments. I figure this gives me more time to sort out my true opinions of my country. And maybe I can script a way to make it a bit better for the future.

Thursday, July 03, 2003


Liquid nitrogen is COLD.

That's my exciting and thrilling comment of the morning. You can all applaud now.

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

I got the coolest little package in the mail the other day - it was Nicole's long awaited DVD! She put together a montage of many of the best moments of Spring 2003. I laughed at all of the familar moments; that infamous party with the mountain of jello shots, the girls night in, the game night. I also really enjoyed Maysa's hilarious lap dance, Sepi's belly-dancing demonstration, and the shots of the smoke-filled interior of Habibi. There were some truly bad shots of my butt, as well. But it also reminded me of how little time I actually spent with Nicole - a sharp contrast to the hours upon hours I spent with her my freshman year.

I feel like I've grown apart from my RHP crew, and I miss them. We had a LOT of drama freshmen year. Gosh. Between roommate issues, the fighting between me and Lea, the housing problems, and the rift over swimmer doofus, I fled Marks Hall in order to create a little peace and a bit of space. But did I distance myself too much? I don't know. I feel like I've learned a lot over sophomore year, and I think this time was good for me. I had a bit of room to breathe and become more comfortable with myself. Hell, I still have issues. Who doesn't? But I think I'm a lot more level-headed about things... or at least I've learned how to say, "I'm sorry" and really mean it.

I went back through my own pictures, and I found these classics from our trip to Habibi. As a tribute to Nicole, I'll put them online so she can giggle at them from Cambridge.

Introducing: me, Nicole, Suzanne

Sepi doesn't normally look like this. Don't mind the closed eyes.

Suzanne looks like a pro at blowing smoke. But is that a good thing?