Monday, February 18, 2002

Song of the Day, "Romeo" by Basement Jaxx

I did a gig today... the Chinese New Years Parade in Hollywood. Intrigued by the promise of free gifts, (possibly California Adventure passes?) I volunteered my time. And boy, I'm still pooped from it. Basically we marched while twirling while smiling while twirling some more while smiling even more! Doesn't it even sound exhausting? It was. I enjoyed being with the Silks, but I have conflicted feelings about the day as a whole.

The Highs: Talking to Justin, my boy. He's just too busy to come around to see me. We had a lot of thing to say to each other, but we ended up just holding hands. I love him to death. We share a lot of secrets together. We're also engaged - feel free to come to our wedding in 17 years... Seeing Kevin, one of my favorite people ever. He's just really cute, but more importantly he's an awesome guy. He has the rare ability to make someone feel special by just saying something nice or smiling at them. He's a senior, so I'm running out of time to enjoy that... the free gift pack has a WONDERFUL pair of flip flops. I desperately needed new shower shoes, so this was a completely welcome added bonus... the look of the high school bands as they watched us perform "Get Down Tonight." They were having a ball, as were we... the bus ride back. I saw Fluffer entertainment, Aladdin entertainment, and laughed a lot at everything. Also, I was not picked to go up there, so I'm enthused about that, as always. I feel a bit guilty at times, but I've come to terms with my fear of band speaking, so...

The Lows: Like previously mentioned, the pure exhaustion of the gig itself... not being able to catch any of my easy tosses. Right now, I'm feeling really disheartened with my performance level. I was missing things that I *KNOW* so I didn't have anyone else to blame but me... A thoroughly unsatisfactory encounter with Vogue and Splangy. I ended up insulting Splangy without really intending to do so. And I get the feeling that Vogue's just really annoyed with me for some reason. Maybe I'm just a bit paranoid, especially after the whole festering wounds explosion with my floor. I don't know. Whatever it was, it wasn't normal. I apologized later to Splangy, but... General feeling of frustration about the crowded bus situation. I enjoy having my own space, and the fact that we had three people to a set of chairs really sucked. I hate getting changed in front of people. I ended up flashing the entire band, I think...

I didn't really do much tonight. But the entire rest of the day was plagued with that same sense of malaise. I don't have a good feeling about the rest of this week.

Hopefully, I'm wrong.