Thursday, March 28, 2002

Hooverphonics, "Jackie Cane"

I saw Cirque du Soleil last night. After watching every single special on Bravo, I would consider myself a Cirque du Soleil fan. But unfortunately I've never seen it in person... until now. Wow. I was speechless. As the trapeze artists triple twisted, as the juggler contorted, as the acrobats jumped off of a seesaw, I transcended the petty problems of my life. I felt like I was put into this beautiful place, so ephemeral yet so timeless. I nearly started crying with tears of joy after the trapeze artist caught his partner by her foot after she flew through the air. I couldn't put my foot on my favorite act. I loved the contortionist... I've always had a fascination with the intricate ways the human body can bend and yet come back to its original form. Also, the woman on the hoop was truly breathtaking. When she started spinning around so fast, I couldn't help feeling dizzy by just watching her.

Unfortunately, the show has to end, just plopping me down in my current life. I had a really good conversation with Josh about the remainder of this year and the entirety of next year. I'm beginning to think that I don't want to associate with most of my good "friends" during my sophomore year. Of course there are a few I wouldn't want to leave behind... but other than those few, I'm not really feeling like I can make a conscious effort for the rest of my dormmates, or at least the ones on this end of the hall. It's actually a sad situation; I've spent a lot of time with these people, shared a lot with these girls, had a lot of laughs with them. Yet there's an underlying issue that bothers me, and I think I've finally realized what it is, with Nicole's help... they don't respect me. I'm just Jennifer, clown of all clowns, outgoing band dork. And that's it. When I give advice, no one listens. When I offer my opinion, it's automatically discounted. I certainly try to at least listen to other people, but when I'm not even given the same luxury back, it's not worth my time. I'm not going to settle. After having such amazing, loyal friends in high school, I know I can find people that want me for who I am. I'm a good, funny, intuitive person, for the most part. And this annoying funk that's fallen over me has its roots in something beyond just my own pettiness. I love to laugh, I love to be with close friends... and I don't like this person I'm turning into as a result of these people surrounding me.

On another kinder note, I've made friends with a couple of the Trojan girls named Kathleen and Christina. Along with their friend Jo, I had lunch with them yesterday and visited them the day before that. I had such a fun time... Kathleen is very witty, and Christina just says the funniest thing. I'm glad I've gotten to know them a bit better; it's certainly helped me take my mind off of the underlying tension of the dorm.

And Megan... "Ooooooooh, EEEEE-GOR!!!!!!"

My wallet's still gone. My parents are so mad it's not funny. But my research paper is taking shape, and the due date was changed to Monday, so I'm feeling a lot better about the entire thing. My goal? Four days of revision, baby! I also got into the undergraduate research conference, which will certainly help my resume. Anything to help with that... woohoo!

Anyhoo. Is this update good enough for you, MLB? I need to talk to you, btw... we'll have to schedule a phone meeting. And remember... "You down with MLB?... Yeah, you know me!"