Thursday, April 15, 2004

Back and forth...

Back and forth...

I'm really undecided about my plans for next year. I just went through all of my photos, reminescing about yesteryear. I have so many photos from marching band... I've spent so much time in the marching band. I'll be a senior next year. Four years of 20+ hours a week will be dedicated to football. That's a lot of my life.

I've had a lot of fun. The Orange Bowl was probably my favorite band trip of all time. Miami was hot, and those sweatshirts were truly ridiculous to wear in the heat... but I had a great time. I love that gig at the football players' hotel. It was so windy, I thought I was going to be blown into the pool. The rain was horizontal. I was soaked, and then to top matters off, we rode a bus with the drummers. Brandon pranced around the bus while wearing two bras. I've never laughed so hard.

This past year was difficult for me, bandwise. It's tough to juggle two huge time commitments. Being an RA is so important to me. I've learned organization, empathy, and leadership. My residents have taught me about having a good time. I've dealt with dirty politics - and some great co-workers. I adore this position. But I was really at a disadvantage, especially when I was trying to make it to every single practice. Two organisations expected 100% commitment; I was a split soul.

I don't know how next year will progress. I have doubts about the leadership, but really, that's my own fault. I purposefully distanced myself from any kind of leading role in the Silk section. I took myself out of the running. It was a good decision, but I still wonder, "What would band have been like if I were section leader?" But I can't do everything - I refuse to do a half-assed job at something. But now I'm wondering if I really want to finish out my four years. Every time I look at my photos, I think, "Yeah, it's worth-while." But then every time I look at my schedule, I think, "God, this will be hard."

I'm nowhere near a decision. And to be honest, there are a lot of things I can't know until RA training. So, we'll see. In the meantime, I'll just continue...

Back and forth...

Back and forth...