Sunday, May 02, 2004

I did something today that I've never done before. I went to the movies. By myself.

I've had a really crappy week. I'm not going to get into the half of it. It's been tough; with work, friend issues, family issues, and personal health issues, I've been on the edge. I've been moody, snappish, and immature. I needed a break from everything and everyone. And if I spent one more second in my room, I was going to kill myself. So, I got into my car and drove to the Beverly Center and escaped into a film for two hours.

I saw Mean Girls. And it was just about perfect. I love teen dramedies - there's nothing better than an examination of high school cliques. I'm fascinated by high school, despite the fact that I never finished it. (Or maybe that's the reason for my obsession?) Lindsay Lohan is refreshing as an actress. I like her onscreen persona because she doesn't force anything. Instead, she exudes her character's personality. Lacey Chabert was fabulous as well- the character reminds me of a few girls that I knew from high school. And I really appreciate a movie that touches upon stereotypes without becoming bogged down in conventions. Tina Fey based the script on a non-fiction book called Queen Bees and Wannabes, a book that's been garnering quite a buzz in a couple of my classes. Therefore, the movie seemed based in reality, instead of the fantastic scene of the movie high school. And it worked. The whole film just worked.

More importantly, I felt like an adventurer. I never do things by myself in Los Angeles. I always drag a friend along. But after this experience, I remember the joy of turning up the stereo, listening to stations OTHER than top 40 hits, and just screaming along with the song. I could sit wherever I wanted in the movie theater. I didn't have to bother looking for two connecting seats. As a result, I claimed the perfect location - 3/4 of the way back from the screen, middle of the row. Inherently, movies make me happy. Regardless if a movie is good or bad, I love sitting in the darkened theater with an audience that shares this voyeuristic experience with me. I like walking alone through a mall after closing hours; during the summer of Express, I felt the most alive when I left work at 3 in the morning. I took a new route back to 'SC - San Vicente seemed a lot more appealing than I-10. As I drove through the residential neighborhoods, I was transported back to Richmond Avenue near my house. The middle-class houses and immense trees reminded me of Houston. Even the air contained a sense of "deja vu" - the unusual warmth of the night made my sweatshirt unnecessary, an oddity for an evening in Los Angeles. There was no conversation to maintain; no awkward silences; no strange tension.

Don't misunderstand me. I love my friends here. I'm going to be extremely upset when the year finally draws to a close. But I have a tendency to become wrapped up in my own little issues. And I needed some distance. And today, I got a little bit of myself back, thanks to a "silly" teen comedy. There's something to be said for escape.